im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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