Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
