If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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