i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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