hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
