I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
