Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Randomize
