everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
if only i could text you this smell
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
