margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
