That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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