After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
