$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
