then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
