At least make sure they are 18
Why
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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