Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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