he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
