Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I have demons in me.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
