At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
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