And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
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