i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
