I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
