she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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