if i can run in heels then i can drive
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
