My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
