i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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