He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
