Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
