$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
