I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
