nut hugger
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Randomize
