Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Randomize
