it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
