i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
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