So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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