so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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