Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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