Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
wow bdsm is so cute
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
