Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
