? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
