Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
wanna go halves on a baby?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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