so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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