a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Randomize
