Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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