tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Randomize
