I got chris browned last night
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
