dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
