I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
