we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
