I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Randomize
