Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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