Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
