I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
